So I was going to write another kitschy column about how I’ve morphed into a frat bro. It was going to be pretty great, too, replete with mid 90’s hip hop references and copious use of the phrases “legit,” “bro,” and “yo.” But I am experiencing a brief bout of self-righteousness, so please excuse this foray into the semiserious. Don’t worry, next time I will return to talking about myself.

I want to talk about food. Specifically, fresh fruits and vegetables. Fresh produce is great. It’s good for you, it tastes good, and it would be awesome if everyone and their mom could have fresh veggies for dinner every night. Community gardens are the shit, and Michelle Obama is super cool for starting one at the White House.

But here’s the deal, all you “slow food revolution,” Omnivore’s Dilemma worshipping dudes and dudettes out there: privilege. Recognize that you’ve got it. It’s awesome that you have the means and the will to eat locally grown food and to prepare meals from scratch with organic produce. Seriously, I’m not even being sarcastic. Much. I agree that industrial farming is pretty evil. And everything we eat has corn in it because the government subsidizes it like a motherfucker. And we should try to change that, no question.

The thing that really bugs me about books like Omnivore’s Dilemma, though, is that there’s no acknowledgement that living this way isn’t possible for a large portion of the American public. We’re talking socioeconomics, folks. The element of judgment that comes from these food attitudes (which I will refer to as “fooditudes” from now on, just for fun) just ain’t cool, guys. That’s right, Elana’s getting serious.

Organic food is really expensive (and organic farming is super inefficient, but that’s a rant for another day. You can email me if you really want to hear it, but I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s even less funny than this column). Also, just putting this out there, as far as evil corporations go, Whole Foods is pretty high on the list. Unless being Wal-Mart level anti-union is your bag, I guess. But you shop at a co-op, of course. Well, good for you, way to embrace those socialist ideals and whatnot. The food is still ridiculously overpriced.

So that’s pretty obvious, right? A lot of people can’t afford to buy free range eggs or hand raised kale that’s been sung to every night or whatever the latest trend in yuppiedom is. But the problem runs deeper than that. See, a lot of low-income neighborhoods don’t even have grocery stores that sell fresh produce. At all. It’s pretty damn impossible to buy stuff you don’t have any access to. And if you’re working full time and you don’t have a car, it’s even harder. Which is why community gardens and efforts to bring fresh food into inner city areas are so cool and important. But it’s important to recognize that not everyone can make the choice to eat “the right way.”

It’s kind of like the argument I get in with Greenpeace whenever they try to stop me for signatures on the street (what? I really like to argue). We don’t have any proof that genetically modified foods cause cancer or health problems. We do, however, have proof that GM foods grow in areas where food wouldn’t otherwise grow, and thus feed people that wouldn’t otherwise have anything to eat. That strikes me as a little more important than vague, unfounded threats of future health problems.

Which I guess is the overall point I’m trying to make here: the agricultural-industrial complex is fucked up, definitely. But you know what’s really fucked up? The fact that there are people starving in our supposedly first world country, every day. The abundance of cheap, unhealthy foods leads to health problems and the paradoxically high cost of being poor in this country, and that’s why the system needs to change. Junk food is cheap, and vegetables are expensive. So by all means, continue to eat locally, but don’t dismiss those who can’t. Recognize how lucky you are to be able to make that choice.

Yo. Sweet. Bro. Legit.